Hello Vibrant Fireflies. Welcome to the Stay On The Glow podcast. I’m your host Tonia and I’d like to start off today's episode with an affirmation that sums up our topic nicely:

I embrace change with an open heart.

So let’s just put it out there. I’m barely out of an 8 year dumpster fire season of misery and uncertainty because I refused to become me. All because I was denying the change in my life and feared having to change my way of thinking and my way of doing things. So, I instead I trapped myself in an extended and excruciatingly painful season that did not serve me. A season like those winters that are the coldest and most brutal and never end, encasing you until well into almost the weeks before summer begins. Summer babies, I know you feel me. Anyway, this horrid season, dumpster fire or not. It allowed me to learn my truth. 

To say it took me a minute to realize that is an understatement. But change is going to happen whether you welcome it or not. What’s the saying, the only thing constant is change? I’m a believer now. 

We’ll get more into my issue of not living my truth in a minute, but let me talk about change and its truth.

You will never experience true happiness if you keep resisting change.

You will never experience true happiness if you keep resisting change. I know you can feel that there is a shift going on in the world right now. Yes, let’s please talk about climate change, but for today, let’s talk about societal and cultural climate change as well, specifically society norms and structures. There is a big shift in our approach to life, what is important to us, and how we are basically viewing how we are sharing space in this world with others. Some of the shifts and moods are positive and some are just plain negative and ugly. So much is coming to light for us right now and we have to choose who we want to be in this moment and what legacy we want to leave. But this shift is nothing new. History has taught us seasons change and we go through cycles of growth and consciousness and sometimes, destruction.

Today’s changes may seem rapid and hurling at you, or depending on so many economic and cultural factors, you may have seen and felt it coming, but were hoping for change in direction, more time, mitigating solutions, or just any type of positive adjustment. But it’s here and you have to get off autopilot to survive and thrive in it. For better or for worse, you will have to shift with the world’s changes, and you may actually do this unconsciously. Through these changes, your core values mostly stay the same, but as you experience more, your interests and awareness changes. And even when the world’s shift is not so prevalent and noticeable, there are many personal changes that occur daily in our environment, spaces, and relationships that we can’t keep ignoring, resisting, or denying. Again, to survive and thrive we have no choice but to prepare, be aware of, and most likely respond to the changes. 

To be more clear, there are changes like the pandemic where our family, work, and school life, health, and lifestyle in general were massively affected. We had no control over many of the restrictions placed upon us. So maybe you lost your job, but it allowed you to open a more lucrative business. Or you had a business, but your business had to close because it was no longer financially viable and you lost a significant amount of finances and had to significantly downsize your lifestyle.

Where I Went Wrong...

Now, how you react to the changes around you and in your life determines if you are going to thrive. Where I messed up was trying to control the uncontrollable, denying some things were not fixable, and were merely a lesson to learn from. Because the change was unpleasant, I wasn’t willing to accept the shift and a change was happening to me. I thought I could just go about doing what I was doing and basically tried to outsmart the change. I stayed in a toxic job too long, I entered into easily apparent toxic romantic relationships and friendships. I even played the blame game for a hot minute. I was certainly not my most fantabulous self. I lost my confidence, money, and almost all of my good relationships. And as I come out on the other side, I can try and justify it all with it being the classic caterpillar to butterfly phase of my life. Yes, those experiences taught me a lot and gave me a chance to see life differently, bu had I just accepted the changes were occurring and things that maybe used to were no longer serving me, and some things or people I was around were never serving me, I could have avoided a lot of heartache and financial loss.

Of course, in hindsight I know that a lot of it was just that I was unaware of my potential, unaware of what brought me joy, unaware of who I was and what I wanted, and what was available, that if I just took a moment to stop being so hell bent on not accepting the shift and changes, that there was so much less I needed to have and to carry with me. Because when I began to see how accepting and working with, not against even the smallest of changes was so beneficial, stopped seeing changes that made me uncomfortable as failures, started listening to my intuition, stopped being afraid to find out more about myself thing improved drastically and yeah, I got my spark back. And when I’m talking about becoming you, I’m talking about in this moment. Living our best life in this moment. And often time that involves change. Again, my problem was I was too busy trying to force myself to be someone I wasn’t. I might have been that person before, but not anymore. This was a different moment and season. When so much is going on, not only do you need to understand and accept that change is happening whether you welcome it or not, but you MUST question yourself in the moment. I mean ask and answer - who you want to be, what you want, and what you want to do. And you know I mean write it down and journal it. I’m saving my journaling soapbox/pep talk for another day, but it’s a lifesaver. 

All that to say, not confronting who you are and what’s going on, living in stress, avoidance, anxiety, fear and frustration takes a toll on you emotionally, intellectually, and physically. You must allow the breakthroughs and growth, or you will stunt or kill your future and joy.

For me, I needed to accept and welcome the change before I could start asking myself who I wanted to be, what I wanted and what I wanted to do now that it’s here, because remember it’s happening whether you welcome it or not. I was resisting change because I was scared of what was on the other side, but let me tell you why change is often the best thing that can happen to you and help you live your best life. 

It all starts off with first, give yourself grace, then, give change a chance. 

Let’s not sugarcoat it. Change is scary. It’s uncomfortable. But it’s necessary and it’s going to happen whether you want it or are ready. Plus, life without change is stagnant. Everything feels stale and mundane, almost meaningless, and going about your daily routine can feel like a life sentence on even your best days. It’s such a simple thing to do, but often seems like the hardest thing in the world to do. So what do we do? We make excuses for not making any moves, trying our best not to alter the status quo, and then we tell ourselves we’re not ready and find excuses to put change off. I told you how that harmed me. Save yourself some heartache, don’t waste your time, energy, or peace, and definitely don’t lose your money by resisting change. Open your mind and your heart to change right now and experience the benefits, no matter how scared and uncomfortable it may seem. 

Growth Requires Change

We all want to blossom and grow into our potential and possibilities, right? Well, without change, you would never grow. In the simplest of terms, think about what if we stayed children forever? Yes, adulting can be annoying and feel like a sham sometimes, but I’d rather be able to drive a car, make my own money, and go wherever I darn well please, or all of the truly fun things you can do as an adult that you can’t do as a child. But you had to grow mentally, physically, and spiritually to experience those milestones to get to your current point of independence. 

Every state in life requires further growth, usually in areas we can’t see. None of this growth would ever happen without change to push it along. We need to grow mentally, physically, spiritually, and in so many other ways. Learning new ideas, exploring different cultures, and even learning more about yourself by initiating changes in your life, you can experience growth in all areas of your life. Not only do you have to accept change, but sometimes you have to seek it. If we stop changing and growing, we stop living. Let yourself grow.

Change is not only unavoidable, but it happens frequently.

Okay, not only is change unavoidable, but it happens frequently. So another benefit of change is that it helps make you more adaptable when it comes around again. Especially those shifts and changes that throw you for a loop or disrupt your current seemingly happy life. Because when change happens in our lives, we need to shift our thinking to accommodate the alteration. And with anything you practice often, this adaptability gets better the more you do it. 

Frequent change can’t help but make us more flexible in every aspect of our lives. We learn to pivot and change direction on a dime. Change helps us do more than just survive, it helps us thrive when things are unexpected and especially unpleasant, as it gets us acclimated to learning to get along with others, exploring new schedules, and stepping outside of our comfort resiliently when life throws us curveballs. Bottom line, when change does occur, you’ll be better adept at navigating it on your terms.

Change demand you know what you believe.

And know this truth. Change demands you know what you believe. Nothing challenges your belief system like change. As a result, every time you face a change in your life, you’re going to have to reassess your beliefs and either affirm them or reshape them to fit the situation. Over time you’ll find your beliefs, having been challenged frequently in this way, are stronger than ever.

When I lost my job twice on surefire, what I thought were set careers, I definitely had to reassess my career path and what I thought and believed about money. Talk about having to reevaluate my life choices.  

And it’s better to do so before you are forced to do so. Reinforcing or re-evaluating your life and your perspective means making changes that will push you. Sometimes this will result in making a change for the better, or it can result in reinforcing your present beliefs and giving you a renewed reason to stick with them. 

Which leads me to, nothing calls us to task like change does. The question is, are you going to rise to the occasion when you’re called to shift your thinking? Or are you going to fall at the first hard push? Whether you weather the storm or not, change will show you how far you’re able to go, and very likely push you further still when you need it.

Case in point, I found out this trademark attorney was pretty darn good at owning and running a fitness studio, and this studio owner was pretty darn good at coaching entrepreneurs as well as creating printables and templates. Change did me a favor, I can never repay.

And what I really love about change is that it ruins routines.

And what I really love about change is that it ruins routines. This is actually a good thing. Doing the same old thing over and over is going to grow old fast. Change is what keeps life exciting and gives you something to look forward to in the day. And side note, at the same time, traditions have to start somewhere. From daily routines, healthy lifestyle habits, to family and friend holidays and events. Allowing change into your life will allow you to explore new customs that you can make to welcome more joy.

Change gives us life experiences.

Another thing, welcomed or not, change gives us life experiences and compassion. Yes, empathy and compassion. When things change, we’re forced to sometimes go through some very uncomfortable times. These are the times when we learn the most profound lessons. These are the times we learn who we are, what we are made of, where we want to go next. Of even more value is how those tough times shape us, teaching empathy and compassion for others who face similar challenges. Because in all honesty, a lot of things we are just not going to be aware of, understand, or relate to, unless we are in a similar situation.

Change open you up to new possibilities.

And a truly amazing benefit of change is that it opens you up to new possibilities. When you’re not afraid of change and are willing to try things in a new way, you’re going to discover just how much the world has to offer. You start seeing new opportunities around every corner that you were unaware existed. What’s more, you’re more likely to take advantage of those fresh possibilities when you’ve already learned that change is a good thing. 

Living on autopilot and just doing what was expected of me as I just went through the motions of school and my career, I lost out on so many other opportunities and even exploring my creativity. And you know I’ll tell you, things don’t have to be so grandiose to benefit. I mean even the smallest of chases are beneficial, like changing your running or walking path, or switching out one of your runs for a walk. While I would walk on the super snowy days because I didn’t want to slip on ice and bust my buns, I found that walking gave my body a needed rest while keeping me active, so when I had a hip flexor strain recently, and mad at the world, the walking helped me keep moving and the varied workout helped me improve my fitness level. Not to mention, I could finally find time to listen to and practice my portuguese lessons in exchange for partying up my runs with dancehall. 

Changes, even small ones, can create fresh starts for us to begin again (or turn our fantabulousness up a notch).

Lastly, as we enter new seasons, changes, even small ones, can create fresh starts for us to begin again. If you feel like you are at a dead-end, initiate a change in your life. It doesn’t have to be a complete metamorphosis.

Maybe it’s something like volunteering at an animal shelter. It can be booking your first solo international trip. It can be pulling out some markers and taking time to color in a coloring book. Little changes add up to significant changes. Just a small change can lead to a new life you never thought was in your reach. 

Okay, we talked about why change is beneficial, but outside of the world shifting or some event such as birth/death, a significant financial gain or loss, etc., how do you know you really it’s time for a change in your life?

In the next episode, It’s Time To Become You Pt. 2, I’ll talk more about how you know it's time for a change in your life, even if you are one of the most vibrant of fireflies. 

Once again, our episode affirmation: I embrace change with an open heart.

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Until next time, be well, treat yourself well, and we’ll chat soon.