Hello Vibrant Fireflies. Welcome to the Stay On The Glow podcast.  I’m your host Tonia and our episode affirmation is:

I DESERVE THE BEST AND CHANGE IS AVAILABLE TO ME

 IN EVERY STEP AND MOMENT OF MY LIFE JOURNEY

Okay last episode I talked about the benefits of change and how it helps us to become our true selves. But how do we know when there needs to be a change in our lives? At some point in our lives, we all find ourselves itching for a change, wanting for something different and new. However, many times when changes are most needed, we have no idea. We can be oblivious to the most obvious of signs, just going through the motions the entire time with abandon and all around unhappiness. Many times the signs are right  there in front of us, telling us it's time to start a change. RIght now, I want you to take a moment to stop, be still, and decide if any of these 14 signs are present in your life and signaling to you. 

1. YOU’RE NOT HERE IN THE PRESENT

It’s not unusual to daydream about the future, or even to look with fondness on your past ‘glory days.’ Nostalgia is good. Remembering days gone by and happy memories is an integral part of a healthy life and culture. My father and I are always trying to one up each other over who had more fun in college and their 20s. He wins in college. I win for the 20s. Only of course because, you know, he had fatherly responsibilities by then. (Cough. Cough. I was born...) 

Anyway, if you lose hours to thinking of better times and pastures that were greener or constantly wishing and hoping thinking about what you wish to have in the future,   instead of living in your present life and appreciating where you are at currently, you may need to start initiating changes because it’s unhealthy, because you’re never here, in the present. Ask yourself honestly, where are you really spending your time? Here, or somewhere else entirely?

2. YOU’RE TALKING TOO MUCH ABOUT EVERYTHING BUT YOUR PERSONAL LIFE

For instance you may be talking a little too much about work. You love your job, and that’s good. That's important. The question is, are you talking about it constantly, even when you’re away from your workplace? This might imply your personal life is growing stagnant, and your life is out of balance. 

And maybe you're even talking about others just a little too much. Not gossip, but more in praise and even a little jealousy. Sure, it’s easy to feel a little envy when someone buys a new toy you wish you owned or experiences success you wish you had. However, if you find yourself bordering on jealousy a lot of the time, about things really not all that important, you might want to start looking at your own life. This is a sure sign of dissatisfaction for what you have or are accomplishing. What are the things you’d like to accomplish? What do you need to change to reach this accomplishment?

3. YOU’RE OVERSPENDING ON THINGS YOU DON’T NEED AND/OR OVERINDULGING

Having things, yeah, that’s fun. Getting things you don’t need because you’re trying to fill a void in your life? Not so much. Especially if you’re using money you don’t have (i.e., credit cards) to buy it. What do you need to change, so you don’t feel this way?

And let’s just add in overindulging too. Like shopping, food, or drink are also common go-to’s for filling a void in your life. The problem here is these things can really take a toll on your physical health. Living with obesity or substance abuse is not fun, nor should it be a way to escape from the change you desperately need to make.

4. YOU’RE OBSESSING

And now we segue right into obsessing about things. When you have a thought in your mind, especially about something you wish was different in your life, your subconscious is signaling you. It’s time to do something different. Pay attention to these thoughts. What is it you need to do to set your mind at rest? What change in your life can you create today to lay this thought to rest once and for all?

5. YOU APOLOGIZE ALL THE TIME

Another signal it’s time for a change is that you find yourself apologizing all the time, for darn near everything. This one might not seem very obvious. When you apologize even for things you haven’t done, you’re typically not feeling very self-assured or confident. What this means in the world of change, is something is undermining these traits. Ask yourself what’s getting you down? What do you need to do to feel better about yourself?

6. YOU EXPECT THE WORST

Same for if you are constantly expecting the worst. Again, when you’re not feeling confident, this time about the future, you start to see the worst-case scenarios. Confidence comes from feeling good about what you’re doing and having the assurance about a positive outcome. Pessimism happens when you’re desperately needing to change whatever is keeping you from having this assurance.

7. YOU’RE NOT GETTING OUT

And I know we are hopefully coming out of the pandemic, but really watch it if you're not getting out. And Introverts I see you.  But I’m talking about the worst ruts that trap you to the point where you create routines, keeping you at home and out of touch. And these routines can apply to so many areas of your life.  I’ve got news for you: the grub hub and door dash crew really doesn't need to be on a first-name basis with you, nor do your friends appreciate it when you cancel on plans just to stay in. How can you change this? And get out and get some fresh air?

8. YOU CAN’T FIND THE SOLUTION ANYMORE

Another one that really hits home is that you find yourself not being able to find the solution anymore. Now, Typically, we’re pretty good at brainstorming when we need a solution to a problem. But when the issues seem too big, and there isn’t a solution in sight, it might be time to reword the problem. For example, it might not be a matter of trying to find a fix that will make your boss respect you. It might be time instead of a new job completely. How can you tell the difference? Easy. You’ll know when you’ve already tried everything you can think of to change things, and none of them worked.

9. YOU’RE IN A BAD MOOD A LOT

Is just about everything pissing you off for no apparent reason. I mean are even the littlest irritations ruining your day? Allowing minor issues to manifest into more significant problems that consume your day is not only unhealthy but is also a sign that it's time to start initiating changes that will allow you to ignore those minor inconveniences. 

10. YOU FEEL RUSHED

If you’re always in motion, jumping from project to project, and never having time to think, you’re on the fast track for exhaustion, burnout, and eventually some pretty serious health problems. You need a serious change to allow yourself the time to rest and recharge once in a while.

11. YOUR HEALTH IS SUFFERING

This one I really want you to pay attention to. Is your health suffering? If you’re not feeling well, you’re dragging, and you’re starting to dread looking in the mirror, it’s definitely time for a change in how you address your physical health. Are you eating, right? Getting enough sleep? Exercising once in a while? 

12. YOU’RE PLAYING THE BLAME GAME 

As I mentioned in the last episode, I knew I needed to make a change when I started playing the blame game. When something doesn't go your way, stop and think about the questions that you ask yourself. Are you asking 'blaming' questions, or are you asking questions about your next steps and what you can do better next? The type of questions you ask can let you know when it's time to make a change.

13. YOU HAVE NO PASSION

Do you have passions in your life? Are you losing the loving feeling about just about everything in your life? If there is nothing in your life that gives you joy or happiness, then it is definitely time to consider a change.

14. YOU SHUDDER OR CRINGE WHEN YOU THINK ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE WILL REMEMBER ABOUT YOU

This is a really big one. Just how do you think other people see you? Is this how you want to be remembered? If not, it’s definitely time for a change. Your legacy should be something you feel good about, not something you hope gets swept under the rug when you’re gone.

If you are experiencing any of what I just mentioned, what I want you to remember is that change is beneficial, change is available to you, and you deserve the best. Sometimes we have to settle for something less than the best. This does not mean that you don't deserve the best. If you are consistently setting for less than the best, you have most likely forgotten that you deserve the best of life as well. It might be time to ask for more.

Are there aspects of your life that you are unhappy with, that you deal with daily but wish you didn't have to? Maybe you have forgotten that you can change, and you have the capacity to  make changes in your life. Consider if the problems and not so ideal situations in your life are ones that you can take steps to change or improve.

More or less, it’s pretty easy to spot when your life is ready for a change. And I know. Change is a big thing. It can be difficult, take a long time, and force you to make uncomfortable decisions. However, taking the time to examine your day to day life will give you insight into the changes you need to make. Overall if you’re not happy in your life, it’s time to change. So, now you know, what are you waiting for? 

I know. How to make changes. It’s different for everyone and based on the changes you need to make in your particular life, but I got you. In the next episode, It’s Time To Become You Part 3, I’ll share some tips on how to overcome any fear you have about making changes and how to take action so you can stop living a life that does not serve you and make the change to become you in your new season. 

Once again, our episode affirmation: I DESERVE THE BEST AND CHANGE IS AVAILABLE TO ME IN EVERY STEP AND MOMENT OF MY LIFE JOURNEY 

Don’t forget to subscribe so you don’t miss a thing. 

Until next time, be well, treat yourself well, and we’ll chat soon.

Resources mentioned in the episode:

Episode 4: It's Time To Become You (Part 1)